What Exactly is Expected of a Bestman?

It’s usual to have a best man, some people even have two. The best man is the groom’s chief helper and has a fairly long list of duties and a speech to make. He also need to be organised and calm.

Duties include:

  • To arrange the stag party.
  • To help organise outfits for himself, the groom and the ushers and to make sure they’re collected.
  • To help the groom get ready and get him to the ceremony.
  • To co-ordinate and direct ushers.
  • To check that the buttonholes arrive and that the orders of service are ready to be handed out.
  • To look after the rings and hand them to the minister or groom during the ceremony.
  • To make sure that any fees payable on the day are settled.
  • To announce the speeches and the cake-cutting.
  • To read out cards or messages at the reception and make the final speech.
  • To announce the bride and groom’s departure from the reception.

What Exactly Should You Say in Your ‘Bestman’ Speech?

  • Thanks the groom for his toast to the bridesmaids.
  • Comments on the bride and particularly the groom.
  • Reads any messages from absent friends.
  • Toasts the bride and groom.

Top Tips for a Flawless Speech

Don’t panic! A little careful planning will help you deliver a speech to be proud of…

  • Keep to the point – 5 to 10 minutes at most.
  • Look up, smile and look around the guests. If you look happy and confident, you’ll sound it too.
  • If you’re not naturally witty, don’t try too hard. Be sincere and speak from the heart.
  • Prepare well in advance – not the night before.
  • Practise your speech out loud a few times and time it to make sure it doesn’t overrun. If possible, read it to someone who’s opinion you trust.
  • If you’re an inexperienced speaker, write the speech out in full rather than in note form.
  • Be funny if you can but avoid sexual innuendos or anything risqué. Elderly relatives will be listening as well as your friends, so it must be suitable for all.
  • Keep your sentences short and you language conversational and informal.
  • If you’re not used to speaking in public, use a microphone if there is one. If not, lift your head and project your voice – don’t talk into your notes. You’ll need to speak up to be heard at the back of the room.
  • Don’t rush or you’ll fall over your words. Take a deep breath and take your time.